To Battle!

“Alas!” you exclaim sadly. “While I find you – both of you – terribly attractive, I’m afraid we could not very well make hours of tender and ecstatic love if we were dead unless we were revived by the Naked Necromancers of Asdfjkkl; and I fear the chance of that happening in this qudarant is very slim.”

“You are wise as well as beautiful and possessing of excellent taste in music!” the diva declares.

“Indeed,” the ex-mercenary muses.

Suddenly, you hear an outcry from the corridor, and hastily make your way through the door, where you discover more than a dozen of Caroline’s traitorous former crew have invaded!

“You wretched wretches!” Caroline cries, wielding her zathwop bladearm with the fury of a woman who has been betrayed by those who owed her their loyalty and who has been given a chance to reward their perfidy by wielding a zathwop bladearm with fury.

Your skill at the ancient Riadorfan art of Boot Sway aids you now! Smashing the skull of two attackers with a perfect Galloping Hedgehog Hip Thrust you espy Harmony devastating your foes by aiming precise vocal attacks at their bellies, causing most of your enemies to fall to their knees with rather painful cramps, which puts them in a perfect position for Caroline to enthusiastically lop off several hanging heads at once!

But it is you who must finally save the day, facing off against the gigantic leader of the mercenaries! With the Kangaroo Stance coming back to you as vividly as it did on the day you won the All-Riadorf Imperial Event, you box his ears with such ferocity that not only his eardrums, but his brain bursts.

“Marry me!” Caroline pleads, nudging aside a severed head with her foot so that she might kneel.

“Marry me!” Harmony carols, demurely wiping her bloodstained hands on her dress.

Caroline looks at Harmony. Harmony looks at Caroline. “Marry us!” they cry in unison.

It appears you will not end this adventure without a wedding! But to whom?

1) The Silver Marauder is as fierce in battle as she is in the bedchamber! You marry Caroline.

2) The diva is as fabulous as any fan could fantasise! You marry Harmony.

3) As if you could ever favour one of these wonderful women over the other! You marry them both.

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